Top level executives often don’t know how to motivate new kinds of performance in resistant direct reports. It’s easier to teach and motivate your high potentials – they listen, learn and put into action. They are basically self directed learners that need some ideas, somebody to bounce ideas off of, and away they go.

But as you know, they aren’t the majority.

When coaching less self directed direct reports, you need to modulate how you assist them to learn.

Most of the time, you are using what would be called a “pull” approach. That is, you present the material in such a compelling manner that they are “pulled” to become interested in it, learn it, try it.

Sometimes, you need a “push” technique. This is usually put to use when they are resisting the learning. They may be claiming they “get it” (but you know they don’t at a meaningful level) or don’t need to learn it. It’s at those moments that you make your case by noting the instances that demonstrate otherwise. The desired reaction is that they acknowledge the necessity of doing the new learning and commit to trying it.

Importantly, the “push” technique isn’t aggressive or manipulative. Rather, it is presenting a logical sequence of facts that are hard to refute.

One of the many ways that management is an art is knowing when to “pull” and knowing when to “push.”

Frequently executives don’t find the time (make the time?) to coach their middle management direct reports. In fact, this activity brings you some of the greatest return on investment of your time.

Think about it. You have four direct reports. You meet with them for one hour each per month. They each have three direct reports – and they meet with their direct reports the same amount of time and frequency. So, your initial investment of four hours in one month creates 12 hours of coaching in your organization!

Over the course of twelve months you invest 48 hours to coach your direct reports yielding 184 hours of coaching.

Think of the impact you could have with this investment of time.

As a corporate psychologist, I know that you can’t make people change. Frequently executives want to make people change, wishing that key people in their organization would do more of this or less of that. The need for people to change to create alignment on corporate goals, engage on a project or just to plainly work harder are an important part of organizational success.

Here are some techniques that are useful to help the people you’re coaching change easier and more effectively:

1. Create a sound work relationship with your mentee – this will make them more comfortable trying the things you recommend, and it will put you in a comfort zone being frank and honest about the changes the person you’re coaching needs to make. (Remember, nobody engages a coach and wants a lot of sugar coated comments – people want their skills to be stretched, to be challenged.)

2. When the person isn’t willing to change or try something different, don’t become demanding or passive (neither of these is effective). Rather, ask the person questions that allows them to explore their current course of action and whether it is having the intended consequences.

3. Continuously weigh whether you should be encouraging the person change, or whether you should be patient as the time isn’t right for the person to change. This requires that you continuously monitor yourself and the other person – or you could be ineffectively demanding, or passive. If in doubt, ask them if they feel stuck in the change process (this can often get somebody unstuck).

4. And most importantly, remember that people change when they feel more inclined to change versus stay the same. Part of lowering their need to stay the same is to provide them with emotional support to make the change. You can convey this by expressing confidence in their specific abilities to make the change.

Lastly, always appreciate the very important role you play in your mentee’s professional life. If they are working with you in earnest, they have entrusted you. So, remember to express your respect to them by keeping your coaching appointments with them and being fully engaged in the process.

How do you choose a coach?

In sports, often you don’t get a choice – you join a team and it’s a package deal, the team comes with a coach. If you don’t like the coach, you have to leave the team (which is unlikely).

In business, particularly if you are hiring an executive coach outside your company, you get to choose your own coach. But, one size doesn’t fit all. Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Why do you want an executive coach?

The process begins with some important soul searching. What skills are you trying to improve? Emotional Intelligence (EI)? Leadership style? Professional organization and time management? (etc.)

2. Is the coach well recommended?

There are some things you don’t want to pick off the Internet or Yellow Pages, and an executive coach is one of them. Speak to fellow professionals you respect. Some of them might have used an external executive coach. Find out what they did and didn’t like about that coach. If you repeat this exercise, look for the same name to come up over and over as a “great coach.” This person might have potential for you.

3. How do you want to evaluate the potential coach?

When you buy a car you kick the tires. I recommend you do the same with a potential coach. See if they’ll meet with you for an hour – a “getting to know you” meeting. Some of you are wondering, “Do I pay for this?” I would hope not. This is an opportunity for you both to feel each other out – important for the client and coach. Prior to the meeting, let the coach know there are some specific areas you’d like to cover in your meeting, and if it’s O.K. with them, you’ll be sending them the list of questions prior to the meeting.

4. What do you look for in the “getting to know you” meeting?

Most basically, you’re looking to see if they have things to teach you, you want to learn. And, does your gut tell you this is the kind of person you want to learn from – kind of like your own personality test of them. Remember, you’ll want to be honest and forthcoming with the coach once the coaching sessions begin, so you want the kind of chemistry that makes you want to open up about you weaknesses. And, you’ll also need to trust them enough to try the things they’ll recommend.

5. What’s a reasonable first coaching contract?

To start, meet with the coach two hours, once per month, for three months. That’s enough time to see if you’re learning something and actually seeing change in the work behaviors you’ve targeted. So, if you’re trying to better your EI – do you (and maybe even others) see it? If becoming more organized is your goal, is that happening?

Engaging in executive coaching is an important step in ones career. Put the time in up front and you’re much more likely to be happy with the results.